Each week on “Around Town,” our host, Sarah Olson, talks to members of the First Coast community who are making an impact in their part of town. Today, Sarah speaks with Alexandra Sanders of The Love Knot
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Sarah
Welcome back to another episode of Around Town. I am your host, Sarah Olsen, and I am so excited. Very timely to introduce you to my new friend Alex Sanders of The Love Knot. Welcome to the show. Thank you.
Alex
Thank you for having me.
Sarah
I am so glad to be here. You are a wedding officiant.
Alex
I am.
Sarah
And you came from media banking?
Alex
Yeah.
Sarah
Now wedding officiant. Tell us your story and tell us about the love knot.
Alex
Yeah. So I’ve had the majority of my career has been in banking. I work in, commercial banking, and my day to day job title is, sales effectiveness lead. So it’s really more sales strategy. How I really fell into wedding officiating is, my high school friend was getting married, and she said, you know, you have known me and my soon-to-be husband since high school, and I would just love for you to officiate the wedding and frankly, I said, I’m a crier.
Alex
I am a crier, a wedding. So I said, I don’t know if I could go through it because I know you guys so well. I’m just not sure. And essentially three months before the wedding, she said, we still don’t have an officiant. Will you do it? And I said, of course I will. And that, experience really shaped like my idea of starting my own business.
Alex
And it was something I could do alongside banking that wasn’t a conflict of interest. And it’s really just brought a lot of joy to my life. You know, every weekend I can look forward to meeting a couple and perhaps meeting a brand new couple, and ultimately writing about their love story and being able to present that in front of their friends and family.
Sarah
That is amazing. And your company is two years new? Yes, but you are making headlines, so you have already been featured as a premier, the premier bride magazine?
Alex
Yes. Top three weddings have three.
Sarah
Wedding pro. That is fantastic. What are. What are some, trends in weddings now? Any any like I don’t I’m hearing bridesmaid proposals. What are some.
Alex
Trends? You know what? What what I’ll say is. So first and foremost, I’ve noticed a lot of people are really particular about setting the tone of their wedding. And so what I try to educate most people is think about the tonality. Do you want this to be a romantic ceremony? We were talking before this interview, you know, not that I’m a stand up comedian, but sometimes you can add some levity to it.
Alex
Talk about quirks, and you know what really aggravates you? Maybe sometimes about the person that you love, but ultimately you love them. And so it becomes a joke. Those are the types of things I like to weave in that I think just going to the regular officiant script, you know, all the words that we’ve, you know, essentially heard in the movies, it’s not necessarily hitting on that, and it’s not setting the stage for the rest of the day.
Alex
So I think first and foremost, I think couples are wanting a bit more from their officiant. And secondarily, I’ve noticed a big topic around vows. So, whenever I meet a couple, I’ll ask them, how are you guys with public speaking? There’s another. Now, other alternatives for saying those vows back and forth to each other could be during the first look.
Alex
It could also be after the ceremony, or even the night before. Where it’s an intimate. They can say the words they want to say, that perhaps they’re worried about being a ball of tears the day of, where I tell them, you know, I can actually speak on your behalf. I can sort of say jointly, the couple has made the decision to, you know, share their vows intimately.
Alex
But here, you know, kind of the main commitments they’ve made to each other. And I found that’s a nice alternative. And depending on what the couple wants, you know, I fully customize all of that. So I think that’s the benefit of being able to please not only the tonality, but what the couple wants. And how they want to present, you know, during their wedding ceremony.
Sarah
That is just amazing. I know we spoke off camera because, spoiler. My my daughter got engaged a couple weeks ago, so I’m so excited to have you on the show just to talk about that. Who should she and any new bride have in their pocket who should be in their toolbox?
Alex
Oh my goodness. So of course, a wedding officiant.
Sarah
Yes. Of course.
Alex
Of course you must. There, there. But I also partner very, very closely with wedding coordinators. Okay. And they are really the the core planner. They, you know, are used to the community. They are used to the venues. They have, you know, a whole Rolodex of vendors, from florals to even, you know, officiant. So a lot of the referrals all get, is from, you know, Red Velvet Collective is a big name here in Jacksonville, and I highly recommend and her and I really come as a duo because she understands that customization as well as, you know, the tonality.
Alex
And then we work really well together. So I’d say those are two you know, making sure that you are doing the rehearsals is and is something else that I think is really important. And I know there’s the traditional rehearsal that you kind of go through the steps, but, there’s little things that we tend to laugh through during rehearsal, like if you’re going to do a dip, make sure you’re doing that, rehearse your vows.
Alex
So, you know, think about it like it is a production at the end of the day. And no redos. So, you know, we want to make sure everyone is ready and. Yeah, and all of that. But I also feel, because this is your day, don’t have what you want and don’t, you know, don’t really make compromises.
Alex
If you want something to present how you want it to present. You know, I think it’s worth fighting for. And that’s going back to the wedding planner or coordinator that’s, you know, their responsibility is making sure you frankly, just have to show up. Yeah. Enjoy yourself. I know if anything does go awry, they will frankly make it seem like don’t hang has.
Sarah
They’ll have the safety pins and the whatever it is, you have the Vaseline for your teeth. I don’t I don’t know, I can’t remember. It’s been too long.
Alex
It’s. Yeah. Yeah you got it right though.
Sarah
So first steps and they get married. They call you.
Alex
Yes. Yeah. So a part of the sort of intro is if they get the coordinator they’re either they’re referred or I’ll refer them to the coordinator. And usually what I say is we’re going to meet a minimum three times. So I’m going to meet them first to just do an intro. And basically are we a good fit.
Alex
Yeah. They’ll tell me a little bit about their day and then if they end up booking with me, I go through sort of what to expect. What is my role as an officiant isn’t just the responsibility to marry them during the ceremony, but I also talk them through wedding certificate and get the oh yeah, the paperwork. Yes, the legally, as I said, this will all be a song and dance unless you sign this at the end of the ceremony.
Sarah
Right.
Alex
So, you know, being able to go through the process of the wedding license, I usually will recommend, like getting extra copies, because eventually you’re going to need to change your name and things like this. So kind of giving them hacks or best practices throughout that process. But you know, the the marriage license. And then we’ll start the process of me getting to know the couple, frankly, in sometimes short order.
Alex
Yeah, I’ve gotten like a month’s notice for, oh my goodness.
Sarah
Oh, wow.
Alex
So I have a really in-depth questionnaire that lets me, you know, ask certain questions. And I say, listen, the more that you fill out, the more I have to work with, because I’m customizing it from start to finish. That means, is this a religious ceremony? I’m an ordained minister, so it can be a religious ceremony, or it could be non-denominational.
Alex
And that’s really what Love Knots all about, is I welcome all couples. But essentially we go through what kind of ceremony do you like? Are there any cultural elements? I just did a tying of the knot ceremony. Okay. And Irishman’s, fisherman.
Sarah
Wonderful.
Alex
And that was awesome. And that was something we practiced, too. Yeah. But, you know, so it’s it’s really customizing from start to finish, and then we just, you know, I check in with them. Did you get your marriage license? That’s really important. And then I’ll make sure, you know, are there any sensitivities in the families? I think family dynamics are so different.
Alex
I, I never want to make an assumption. Is this your mother? Is this your father? You know, all these different things. Who’s walking you down the aisle? And even modern ceremonies to, you know, I say traditional. Some people have been dreaming about their wedding days for a long time, and so they have envisioned certain words to be said.
Alex
You know, maybe they do want their father to give them away and have the who gives the bride away? Others are like, no, I don’t really need that, you know. Yeah, the, the traditional scripting. So that’s why I say customization is really important. And, you know, if I was a bride, I would want to be asked those questions too around.
Alex
Well, when you close your eyes, you know, what does this day feel like? Yeah. What does your ceremony read like? And some of the feedback I’ve gotten during my ceremonies is that you tell the story. Like I like to say how they met and what brought them together or what hurdles have they made as a couple? I just married somewhere.
Alex
She as soon as they met, she was going off for her residency, becoming a doctor, and he said, I’ll follow you. And so, yeah, very romantic. And I love that. You know, it makes me excited about showing up to that wedding.
Sarah
It sounds like a little bit of therapy and that the story almost comes out just by talking to you and talking it out. And then even if they don’t have an idea or a plan in mind, it kind of develops just by having a consultation with.
Alex
Yes,
Sarah
Alex thank you so much for being on the show. I enjoyed you so much. I’ve learned so much. And for you to learn more about Alex, you can watch her and follow her on Instagram at The Love Knot and watch this whole episode. Find all her contact details on Jacksonville buzz.com.
